Teammate

Photography by Ashley Orellana.

“Who are you?”

That was the question on Laura’s mind, sitting in a bar in Berlin. The object of her curiosity: the man who had just come up alongside to fend off a harasser. 

“Yeah, this girl’s with me here.” That’s what he had said, almost presciently.

They got talking, and sure enough, the time came that she was, in fact, ‘with him’.

He was a footballer, featuring up top for local side BFC Dynamo. She, a dental assistant, living in her hometown.

“You just had the feeling, it’s different with this person,” she says now, looking back on it. “I think when you know, you know.” 

At the time, Laura was convinced that she would never leave her home city and that nothing could tempt her to do so. His transfer, about five hours west to Münster, quickly changed that.

They tried long-distance for a month, but the repeated traveling took its toll. Soon after, they were moving in together. 

By 2019, they were engaged. It wasn’t quite the Maldives proposal that Laura had hoped for, but all of their family and friends had gathered for the celebration.

“Oh my gosh, I started crying so bad,” she recalls. “When I look at my proposal, like the pictures, I look so ridiculous. But it was the best thing, having all of our family there. It was just special, really special.”

 In the time after, the couple were sitting down, contemplating when exactly they’d tie the knot, before Laura’s fiancé blurted out: “Why don’t we do it this week?”

 That was soon settled.

 “I started calling all those places and people were like ‘you can’t do that, you’re not going to get there in time and with all the paperwork you have to submit,’” Laura says.

 They did, however, and within five days of their engagement had tied the knot. It hadn’t been easy, but their bribe of paying for friends’ train tickets for the day after seemed to work.

 Then, as soon as they were married, a different kind of future appeared to be on the horizon, with her new husband set for a move to play in the United States.

 “It all went so fast,” Laura says. “All this happened in such a short amount of time, and when people ask us if we planned any of this, we’re like ‘nope’.”

 But the change came with challenges, not least that due to her immigration status, Laura is stuck at home, unable to work.

“People are sometimes like ‘oh my gosh, you have such an amazing life, you’re not working, you’re just enjoying the sun’,” she says. “I’m just like: no. You’ll do that for two weeks, and after two weeks, you’re just like ‘I want to work’.

“I’m more than a WAG. I have my own career. I have my own goals in life, but what I also know is we knew what we were signing up for. It’s definitely still hard. I’m fine with it, but there are definitely days where I would want to work.”

Laura isn’t the only person who has found her life put on hold, in some ways.

“Of course, my Dad’s idea of bringing us here, you’re going to get a better education, learn the language and have more opportunities,” Sammy says. “But it wasn’t like that. We had problems with immigration laws, so we never could have that fully American dream because of our immigrant status. As soon as I finished high school, I wanted to go to college, and when I was applying it was too expensive. It was just too expensive.”

Sammy had grown up in Mexico, near Cancún, and spent her childhood living what she dubbed a “Caribbean lifestyle”, hanging out by the beach. She was a year away from graduating high school before her father’s job saw her moving to live in Dallas.

“I did cry a lot,” she remembers. “I didn’t want to move, but in the end, I’m happy I did it because right in high school, I met [him].”

A boy in her school, who was initially just a friend, soon turned into something more. They began dating, but shortly after he left Dallas for Mexico, and then for Spain, in pursuit of a footballing career.

Despite being a young couple, they stayed together throughout that time, even though they were apart.

“Me and his family, we have such a good relationship,” Sammy says. “His mom will always invite me to her house and cook something for me and we’ll video chat. So what made me go through it? It was his family. I’m grateful for her. She’ll pick me up and let’s go grab a coffee or something like that while [he] was away.”

That alone wasn’t enough to make the transition easy, though.

“It was difficult because my parents would look at me and say like ‘what are you doing? Why are you waiting for him?’,” Sammy recalls. “I’m like, well, it’s his career and I want to be supportive. If I want to be with him, this is part of it.”

Eventually, her boyfriend settled back home in Dallas, featuring for League One side North Texas and capturing the league MVP crown in his first season. After that, though, was a planned trip to Utah, to feature with reigning champions Real Monarchs.

“He didn’t want to leave, again, leaving me here,” Sammy says. “But I have traditional parents, so they were like ‘no, you’re not moving with him because you’re not married.’ So he proposed.

“He was leaving the next day. His mom made some food, he invited us over and he proposed right there.”

Sammy was ready to head to Utah, suitcase packed, as COVID hit. Her fiancé soon returned to Dallas; his loan move cancelled.

Yet while COVID might have disrupted his footballing plans, it didn’t prevent their wedding from going ahead. It was small and intimate in December 2020, but to Sammy, it was still a beautiful ceremony.

“Hey”

 Then the reply: “Hey”

 “How’s it going?”

 “Pretty good”

“That’s good to hear.”

 As romance stories go, having someone slide into your Twitter DMs is rarely the beginning of an illustrious relationship. For Brooke, that is how things started.

On the other end of the conversation, a college soccer player. Brooke, then a freshman at Akron, had seen him play the day before.

They began dating, but before long he was graduating and seeking out a professional career.

“We were long distance for like four or five years of our relationship between him going everywhere,” Brooke says.

 Brooke kept studying, pursuing her career as a speech-language pathologist. Meanwhile, her boyfriend was traveling the country living his dream.

 Eventually, when he moved to Orange County, California, she moved to join him. It wasn’t without its difficulties, though, as they had to relearn large parts of their relationship with each other. 

 “We had never really experienced holidays until like year seven of dating,” Brooke says. “Holidays to us in our relationship now are new, trying to figure out how to navigate that because it’s just not something we really did when we were long distance.”

 Eventually, the time came to pop the question. It took a lot of masking – the fact that he was planning anything at all would have been a particularly big giveaway – but he did so out on her favorite beach. They then married in 2020, not long before COVID caused the country to come to a standstill.

Not bad, for something that started as a simple conversation over Twitter. 

“Later, I found out that he wasn’t coming up with those responses,” Brooke says. “He was asking for help from one of the guys.”

 With such poetic phrases as “you haven’t even hung out with the soccer team yet. […] It’s the best freshman experience Akron can offer,” perhaps that shouldn’t have come as a surprise.

Brenna was also a college student, finishing up her studies, when she met her future fiancé.

“He was my first Tinder date,” she says. “I remember connecting with him because I was doing something for school, and I was just doing Tinder to meet people to market, and because I didn’t take it seriously, and it was before Tinder was ‘Tinder’, we ended up just chatting and talking about music. I saw his soccer pictures, and we ended up going out to Steak and Shake because I asked him to go out for a drink and he wasn’t drinking during the season.”

Brenna had played the game growing up in Oklahoma. She’d even been offered the chance to feature collegiately but turned down the offers in order to attend Oklahoma State – something she now considers a regret.

“I played since I was four years old,” Brenna says. “I was a forward for most of soccer, but it’s kind of how me and [him] connected, I was a goalkeeper when I was younger.”

 Ultimately, though, Brenna moved away, pursuing her own career up in Chicago. Despite the challenges of the distance between them – a distance that would only grow exponentially later on – she has no regrets about the decision.

 “I tell people all the time that us having that distance was the best thing to ever happen to me,” Brenna says. “I’m such an advocate for young women living on their own because that’s where you grow the most.”

 Long-distance between cities in the U.S. can feel hard enough, but soon enough, the man that she’d moved in with at the age of 22 was further away than ever – in Sweden.

“I had to pay to watch [his] games,” Brenna says. “I watched every single one, and he was like, he tells me this almost every day, that ‘that was when I knew that you were the one’.”

After a spell in Europe, he did come back to the States, eventually winding up in Phoenix. Brenna, still, was working away in Chicago.

After visiting to dog sit in March 2020, though, she found herself trapped – caught in Arizona as the world started to shut down around her due to COVID.

Traveling back wasn’t going to be an option, and the fitness industry that she’d spent so long in was one of the hardest hit by a wave of pandemic-forced closures. Instead, she stayed in the Valley.

Almost a year later, her now-fiancé plucked up the courage to ask the question.

For some people, long-distance isn’t an issue: not because it’s something that they can live with, but because it’s simply not an issue they have to deal with.

Enter, Fatima. The story of her and her fiancé started six years ago.

“I was managing a nightclub, so I was working hard,” Fatima says. “[He] was playing hard. He was coming up to the nightclub as he always does. But at the time, in 2015, he was doing his own thing, I was in a relationship. At the time we were just friends.”

Just friends they would remain, with each other’s lives taking different directions, leading them in opposite cities until they collided once more in 2018.

“I was in Phoenix for work for a year on my own, and [he] was with Sporting Kansas City, and they came down here for preseason,” Fatima says.

Being in the same city gave them a chance to reconnect and hang out and rebuild their prior friendship. But if it wasn’t for an unfortunate event on the horizon, perhaps it would have never been more than that.

“I didn’t think anything was going to come of it because I had just got out of a long-distance relationship, wasn’t trying to do that again,” Fatima recalls. “He went back to Kansas City, calls me the next day after preseason, says I just got injured and just got released.

“I would say I kept him calm during the whole thing because he was devastated. Kansas City was his dream team. So, lo and behold, he said, Phoenix is one of my options, but I just want to let you know I’m not coming there for you.

“So then he signed, and he said, “I’m on my way to Phoenix. I want to see you when I get there, but I don’t want to see you every single day.”

That didn’t last long.

“You know why [we’re still together]?” Fatima states. “Because I saw him every single day.”

Now, they live together, navigating recent moves at the drop of a hat due to Fatima’s remote work as an insurance underwriter.

Hers is a relationship that sometimes sounds to be defined by surprises at the right moments. Coming together at a time she didn’t initially expect it. A proposal on vacation that caught her off guard.

The next surprise? When exactly she’ll get around to planning the wedding.

It can be rare that an ex-boyfriend seems to have a use.

Much as she might like to agree, that might be a bit of a push for Kim.

“We actually met through my ex,” she says, alluding to her first encounter with her now-husband. “He was useful for that.”

They were both in college together at Florida Atlantic, both studying the same major.

“He came up to me and asked who I was there with,” Kim recalls. “I pointed to my ex, and he was like, ‘well, if you don’t want her, I’ll take her.’ And I was like, ‘who the fuck is this guy?’ I had no interest in him whatsoever.”

As things would go, they became friends. After a few months, with her ex out of the picture, he asked her out.

“I didn’t think he was serious, so I didn’t actually get ready for the date,” Kim says. “Then he showed up and I wasn’t ready. I looked like a hot mess, and I was like ‘do you just want to stay here instead, and we can watch a movie and just hang out at my apartment.’ So we did that, and then ever since then we’ve been inseparable.”

Perhaps, in the end, he owes his career to Kim.

With no word back from a coach after trials at Fort Lauderdale, it was Kim’s suggestion – initially strongly rebuked – that led to a phone call with the coach in question, and in turn a professional contract.

“I literally wrote out a script for him,” she says. “I sat with him as he called. He was like ‘he probably won’t answer.’ Like, O.K., leave a voicemail.”

The stress of preparing that phone call, however, was topped by a perhaps more unfortunate proposal story.

Initial plans of popping the question in Colorado went out of the window, as he hadn’t yet bought a ring. Instead, the site would be Chicago, high above the ground in the Sears Tower.

“He’d never been 108 stories straight up in the air, and then have to look straight down and get down on one knee,” Kim says. “So I see that he’s taking out something and going into a lunge position, and like midway into going on his knee he panics because he’s looking straight down at the glass top. 

“I’m just thinking this is awkward. People are looking at us. I need you to say some words. It’s like 30 degrees outside and he’s profusely sweating and I’m just like, this is so not cute.”

Kim is a physical therapist and has recently been getting the chance to pitch in with her husband’s team.

But years later, has he been forgiven for the proposal mishap? Perhaps, or perhaps not.

“We lived in Florida,” Kim says. “We lived five minutes from my favorite beach. He could have proposed on the beach, but he didn’t.

“He’ll make up for the proposal at some point.”

Now, all six of them are together, in Phoenix, where their significant others play.

While they have each other, being in a relationship with an athlete isn’t always all it’s cracked up to be.

“[He] likes to pretend that I know how to head the ball, or whatever it’s called,” Fatima says. “So he throws the ball at my head, in the morning, when I haven’t even had a cup of coffee.”

“He sometimes dreams about soccer, and he’ll kick me,” Kim says. “He’ll just kick me hard in the middle of the night. I don’t know if it is soccer, or if he’s just sneakily kicking me and blaming it on soccer, but it’s like ‘woah, what.’ And he’s just “oh, sorry, I was dreaming I was taking this free-kick.”

It’s a lifestyle that doesn’t lend itself to stability, with last-minute moves – especially on transfer deadline day – all too common.

“That is the most anxiety and suspense I’ve ever felt in my life,” Fatima says. “I’m not going to lie, I’m a planner, so I need to know what I’m doing. This man doesn’t know what time practice is tomorrow. 

“I’m like, O.K., where are we going? He’s like ‘I don’t know, I don’t know.’ He says ‘trust the process.’ Like, there is no process.”

Each move can lead to a lot of upheaval in a short space of time, but there’s almost always a helping hand waiting to pull them along to the next city.

“Some of my friends that aren’t married to soccer players ask, like, how do you do it?” Kim says. “How do you get up and move every couple of years and meet new people and that? The beauty of it is you have built-in friends where you move with the team. Whether you like it or not, that’s up to you, but there’s a built-in social group of people around your age that understand exactly what you’re going through.”

Or not, in rare cases.

“When I went to Orange County, when I moved there my first year, I was literally the only one,” Brooke says. “I was the only girlfriend on the entire team. So it’s just me and the guys, and that’s what it was at Orange County.”

That risk is just one of the challenges they face, trying to push forward to their own lives and goals while supporting their partners.

“It takes a certain person to have that understanding with their partner who is playing professional soccer,” Brenna says. “If you don’t understand that, it’s not going to work. You have to be able to have that support and understand it’s not forever. You have to be able to support their dreams, and hopefully, that’s reciprocated if it’s the right person on the back end for yourself.”

“The difference that I will say with their career is that this is the only time in their lives that they are capable of doing this,” Kim says. “If they quit now, ten years from now, they can’t be like ‘let me lace back up. Let me go back onto the field.’”

“For them to have that understanding of the dedication right now, I know in the future, if we need to move for a job opportunity for me, he’ll pay that back. But right now, it’s just most important that I don’t want him to live with any regrets.”

Sometimes, the challenges go beyond just putting your own plans on hold. When applying for a job after moving from Germany,

“I came there, and everyone was like, oh, that’s the WAG,” Laura says. “Yeah, and I was proud to be his girlfriend, but I’m still myself and I applied for this job because I think I’m qualified for it and not because of who I’m with.”

“You want people to see you first, and then to tell them who you’re with.”

But whatever they face, from whatever angle, at least one thing they have is each other.

“The second day I was here, I felt like this could be our home – temporarily of course, because you never know where he’s going – but it feels nice to have you girls,” Sammy says.

When she first moved across from Germany, in a whirlwind, Laura didn’t know quite what to expect. Invited out to a game, she didn’t feel ready to mix.

“Before that, I was like home and I was sweating and I was like ‘Rufat, I can’t do that,’” Laura says. “They only speak English. I don’t feel comfortable. I’ll just stay home.

“As I met them, they were so welcoming. This is the best experience I could have ever wished for, and I think that’s just what we want to pass on.”  

“Laura means everything to me, she is always by my side no matter what. She left everything behind and put her goals on hold to be with me, moved to the other side of the world to support me. To me, that’s true love. I love her and couldn’t be more thankful to have her in my life” - Rufat Dadashov, to Laura

“Amor solo quiero hacerte saber que yo no estaría aquí si no fuera por ti, le doy gracias a Dios por ponerte en mi camino estoy muy agradecido por todo lo que has hecho por mi y que estoy muy orgulloso de ti y por o familia que somos” - Arturo Rodriguez, to Sammy

“I want to say thanks to you (Brooke) for allowing me to follow my dreams and being my biggest supporter in the good but especially the bad. I couldn’t imagine doing this without you by my side and for that, I am forever grateful. I love being side by side through all of these adventures and can not wait for many more in the future.” - Aodhan Quinn, to Brooke

“Brenna’s love and support have always been grounding for me, especially in the most difficult of moments. It will be a fun change of pace when I can support her passions and dreams like she has mine.” - Zac Lubin, to Brenna

“You mean the absolute world to me. I couldn’t have asked for a more supportive, selfless, fun, loving partner to be spending the rest of my life with & I count my lucky stars for you every day. Thank you for your constant unwavering support, for everything you’ve sacrificed for me on this journey so far & for everything you’re yet to sacrifice. You’re amazing. Keep smiling and being you because every day with you is a blessing. I love you always!” - James Musa, to Fatima

“Thank you for everything that you do for me! I know this journey can be tough at times, but I wouldn’t want to do it with anyone else. I love you! A&F 24/7/365 (6)” - Darnell King, to Kim

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Photography by Ashley Orellana.